Just Don't Get It

This is a rewrite/update on an article I wrote a few years ago.  A friend reading it said, "You make it sound like it's all the husband's fault."  Unless a man's wife has given him her permission and blessing to screw around on her, it is his fault!

Last night, the wife of the friend whose marriage I was trying to save by posting My Confession read that article, but we're not sure if she recognized her husband in it or not.  Either she's blind, in denial or he hasn't confessed to her exactly what brought about his most recent devotion to her.  I'm glad that she's getting the attention she needs from her husband, but come ON, people!  I wonder if she knows exactly how many other women he's been with, both online and in real life?  I wonder if she knows how ferociously he's pursued me, to the point where I had to give up the warm-and-fuzzy friendlies and be exceptionally blunt (after trying to tell him nicely, but repeatedly, that I have no interest in meeting, let alone an affair)?  I think he said one time that she doesn't know about all of them.  I pity her.

I was thinking about this earlier...  If I had a dollar for every single time a man blamed his wife for his decision to screw around on her, we'd be living on a half-acre plot of prime waterfront real estate in our 3 BR/2.5 BA dream home with guest cottage.  Plus, I'd have my own brick-and-mortar shop, the foundation for a ministry, a new car and a fishing boat for my husband.  Really, I'm tired of hearing it.

Let's get this straight...  It doesn't matter if your wife puts out three times a day or three times a year, you still have no business screwing around on her.  I've heard it all...

"She doesn't have as high a sex drive as I do."

"She has no libido."

"She doesn't want sex."

"She only wants it once a week."

"She doesn't want to experiment like I do."

And the list goes on, and on... and on.

Stop blaming your wife!  Bottom line is, you are choosing to forsake your marriage vows, that promise you made to "forsake all others," so you can have the sex you want with the security of your wife still there by your side.  You want to have your cake and eat it, too.  Not only are you breaking your marriage vows, but you're also exposing her to god-only-knows-what kinds of sexually transmitted diseases.  That little honey who's willing to sneak away from her husband for a weekend of mind-blowing, chandelier-swinging monkey love with you has probably done this before, maybe even several times.  Do you know all the men she's been with?  Likely not.  I mean, geez... Can you be any more selfish?

If your wife's not interested in having sex with you, then you need to look at what you're doing that's resulting in her lack of desire.  Do you come home from work, all tired and stinky, change into bum wear and sit down in front of the TV until she gets dinner finished, only to return to the TV afterward?  When's the last time you showed appreciation for all she does for you - washing your clothes, cooking your meals, keeping the house straight, taking care of the children?  How long has it been since you two got dressed up and went out to eat without the kids in tow? 

Do you take care of yourself?  Do you expect your wife always to look like a Victoria's Secret model while you more closely resemble Homer Simpson?  Do you go to bed with facial stubble every night?  Have you ever surprised your wife with a little "manscaping"?  (Try that out when you'd like some oral sex, but don't make it conditional - respect her "no.")

I've known my share of men, all with their excuses for cheating.  "My wife is such a nag, and she never wants to have sex anymore."  "My wife's too out of it on pain meds to be interested in sex."  Reality check...  If I were married to you, I wouldn't want to have sex with you, either.  The husband of the nag has a cock the size of a roll of nickels - length and width - sweats profusely and looks like one of the mole people.  The pain med addict's husband smokes, has a million tattoos, has the world's worst haircut in the history of barbers and a cock even smaller than the first guy's.  (I later theorized that excessive drug use - both bragged about having done every drug known to man - leads to diminished size.)

If your wife isn't interested, look in the mirror.  Likely, you're the reason.